Heinz, Svie and Driegh. Three Poems who are hanging out together

These three poems really don't have much in common, no theme that they share etc. It was really just coincidence that brought them together on this post. They were all on their way to different destinations. The first was going to join some mates on a fishing trip, then he remembered he gets real sea sick so he headed of randomly in another direction and ended up here. The second was going to a big music festival but got abducted by aliens, managed to escape, and ran here for sanctuary and to recover from the experience. which wasn't too bad really but just weird. and the third was on her way to a job interview, but the chariot driver who she had hired to take her there crashed the chariot into a field of dreams where some ghostly hockey players looked like they didn't have great control of their jolly sticks. so she also came here, while waiting for alternative transport.

anyway the atmosphere was a bit tense at first but now they seem to be getting along better.

poem one (by sven, also known as svie)


DOUBLEYOUDOUBLEYOU COMMODDITY DOT

she twittered me with wittiness her told me thanks for the add
then tagged me in a photograph and then stole my new i-pad.

he friend un-friend me on fb, because I could not play fishville
in mafia wars he hit-man murder me for a thousand dollar bill

a forum chat room pal send me some recommendations for new mates
who tick all my same boxes, interests / like/ unlike/ personal pet hates

on you-tube I was OMG crushed my cute cat video got less hits than your dog
but that's ok I guess, cos LOL my tame iguana writes a cool cult following blog.

my buddies live inside my laptop, they're operated by their hard drives
we're 2D SIMS and Graphics Gifs and we love our buz-buzz social network lives


POEM TWO. DRIEGH (AKA DREW)
she wrote this poem for the rowdy British tourist having a larf on holiday sprees. Inspired by Classic Poets, she writes pieces which adapt their most well known works.

for this one, Drew was inspired by Keats, Ode to a Nightingale.
("my heart aches and a drowsy numbness fills my sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk, or emptied some dull opiates to the drain....)

my heart aches and a drowsy numbness pains my sense
as though hemlock I had drunk


I went to Rhodes on holiday, what a laugh, I was totally pissed as a skunk:
but now my head spins and I'm really wired, as if of Red Bull I had drunk.
I staggered around and shouted, puked on the pavement, offended the locals
but they are there to cater to us British tourists, those simple foreign yokels.
me and my mates got put in the slammer abroad, after I shagged a bird in Greece
and had a fight with some bloke, got arrested and the cop said that tart was his niece
and the bloke I'd been scrapping with was bleeding and messed up and pasted
they reckon I assaulted him but I don't remember, by that time I was friggin wasted.
shit, my head aches, got a lousy numb feeling and pain in my nuts, cos that cop took offence
and kneed me right in the knackers, then some bloody Stavros judge with no friggin sense
said I was a dull oaf with my life down the drain
- what a tosser: next year I'll fekkin well go to Spain



POEM THREE. HEIDI HEINZ-KETCHUP WROTE ABOUT HER HEP C EXPERIENCE

Horrible Incantation


combo compost mentis heps so ipso facto riba bad

its the meds them aggro maketh us mucho mad

foggus loggos jibber jabber jitter every week

vacantium vacantium regrot forgotto how can't speak

logarhythm drop log und mud fried uber brain fog

hb white blood cells bloody bloody bloody hells

tx tee ex dehydrated dry sick lizard nauseata tongue

crack joint, moody horizontally stretched and strung

muscularis minusucle, pcr agititation, unhingedly ref anticipation

oblio oblivio distortio intoleratum; heptology hepaticirus

whoever donot unnerstand a word of this never had the virus





(ps if while you are visiting this post, these poems do get a bit edgy and start fighting with each other - please just stroke them, speak kindly to them and feed them some chocolate coated chocolate triple chocolate drops. they will soon settle down. eva day.)