THE LIFE MIISION GAME (PART TWO)

PART TWO

(after step one, the following steps are less of a process by system, but more fluid and matter of playing with the different activities and experimenting until something starts to feel right. So try juggling with them in different sequences and combinations – make it play like doing a jigsaw puzzle.

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1)
Start with building on what you want from the world. Always start with this because that is your first circle of personal hopes, instinct and gut reactions and about your experience and anchor. We may not always get what we want but it sure helps at times if we know what it is…
my friend wrote “I want a safe low-conflict environment, for me and my kids.”
2) Next write a sentence that sums up your peak experience, identified earlier;. My friends sentence from his peak experience and feeling of relaxing. “I want to feel relaxed in my everyday life so I can enjoy focusing on my commitments.”
3) Now a brief summary of your priorities identified for work, home and social contacts. My friend said: “ I want to continue my studies and career in third world development, be a good father and a good neighbour, caring about my local community. “

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1) Go back to the final process in part one, when you focused on what you can give to and what you most wish for the world (are they very similar and linked or do they seem very different? Either is fine, but just… notice. **( see note below. ) Again, make a summary. So my friends sentence was “I am good at planning and would like to bring that skill to helping work to end third world child poverty. “
2) Blast your blocks lists!! Get out your lists of things that feel like obstacles or confusions… Are there any similar themes? (for some people it might be… lots of shouldn’ts. Can’t is a big one for many. Or versions of “my dad always said..” etc. which ones do you want to let go of ? are there actually any you want to keep, but change the way you feel about them? Which are easier to let go of and to change or adapt? And which wants feel like bigger challenges…. If you identify a Big One…. Think about ways you can see that differently. Perhaps as a growth point rather than a problem. For example, my friend had a big block on “ they (other people) will laugh at me if I do/say _____________ . so he changed that into: “I can laugh at myself when I get clumsy, but still relax and keep on task, patiently….” (there might have been other solutions, too…. Like telling “them” to fekk orf.!)
**( Soon you will begin to make links and new possibilities. You can see how my friends personal career goals linked already to his broader ideals for the world….. he just had not always identified that clearly in the midst of a busy life. One person I worked with felt she could most give skills from a background in administrative and local government work. But most wanted for the world was better housing and solutions for homelessness, after some contact she had experienced which meant that was an issue that resonated with her. She eventually found a channel for this through some occasional but regular voluntary admin work for a charity, which she found very rewarding. She has been raised to be very career orientated and fairly ambitious, not necessarily either a good or bad thing, but in her case one of the blocks was from a strong ethic that “you should get paid for the work you do and achieve certain goals by a certain age. “ (Sabbaticals and voluntary work were for students, the wealthy or the retired!) She realised that wasn’t necessarily how she wanted to pursue her career path according to a certain formula.)

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OK ,You are almost there; now you have the foundations of a written Life Mission. What you are going to do now is to pull all the different parts together into one written paragraph. You can experiment with how the different elements fit together by jotting down different ways of setting them out, and order of flow. But start with “I want” which is rooted in the idea that desire may often be a real guide to our deeper passions… So from my friend’s example, it might read like this: I want to be a good father and to work to provide a safe environment for my kids. I also want to relax and enjoy my work and studies, contributing to ending third world poverty. Taking part in local activities and contributing to my community is important to me and I have good skills in practical organisation and planning which I can bring to that. When I get self-conscious or awkward, getting past frustration is a challenge in this, for me and ___________________ is one of the ways I can support myself in that and in living my life purpose.

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This is the stage when you identify the key qualities in yourself or the activities you most enjoy which are the best resources you have to give you strength and enthusiasm along the way. We leave this till last as many people often find it more difficult to acknowledge their strength or even to see pleasure and leisure as vital parts of the “meaning” of their lives. But by now, hopefully, you are relaxed enough to feel at ease with this….. write down at least five key qualities you feel you have which are personal strengths for you and others. Earlier you identified what you can offer the world, and though some people list qualities, like patience, or thinking creatively – a lot of what comes up at that stage will often be more skills based. In other words,” can do” rather than ” I am”. Now you need just a list of positive personal qualities and you might want to refer back to your earlier scribbled notes. My friend’s read like this: Kind. Good listener. Observant. Good concentration. Open-minded/ non-judgemental. And again: a list of five things you enjoy doing that help you relax, or just feel good and at ease with yourself. (leisure, etc.) His list: Reading. Camping and walking. Listening to Music. Photography. Having friends to dinner. Pick the one or two items from this resources list that most resonate for you… again, just gut instinct. You can of course change and adapt this list – as you go on and forward in time in life. His two were: I know I am kind, and I especially enjoy having friends round for dinner. . So he adapts that in a way that is about applying it to his own need and includes it at the end of his statement, as ways he can support himself on the journey. He adds at the beginning, instead of the word “I want” ;

MY LIFE MISSION IS:

Now he has got to: “My life mission is to be a good father and to work to provide a safe environment for my kids. I also want to relax and enjoy my work and studies, in contributing to ending third world poverty. Taking part in local activities and contributing to my community is important to me and I have good skills in practical organisation and planning, which I can bring to that. When I get self-conscious or awkward, getting past frustration is a challenge in this, for me and being kind to myself and also taking time out to enjoy having good friends round for dinner are essential ways I can support myself in that and in living my life purpose.”

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This is the last step of the pen and paper and brain storming game. What you are seeking now is a way to bring your written and described mission to life. At this stage, if you notice, it may read as a little static or rather like and entry for a CV. There’s a reason for shaping it in this way, up until now, because you have used creative processes and translated them into a very defined clear statement (right and left brain link.) Keep a clear note of it in this defined form….. as you go forward in life you might want to look back at it and gain a sense of clarity and direction or reminding yourself what are your personal goals and priorities. But, now, again on scrap paper, start playing with it and re-shaping it – much as you would move around the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle to make a picture begin to take form, or as you would shape a piece of clay. Here are some questions to ask yourself to encourage inspiration and a feeling for what “clicks.”

“What else… what else in my life feels important or special and needs a place? What’s missing? Is there anything that that still jars or needs fine tuning? Anything I want to let go of?” Remember this is about instinctive responses rather than going into a mode of analysis. How do you want to represent it as a final page? With words – either prose or poetry or word pictures? As a cartoon or with other images and symbols? Maybe even as a mind map or a picture of a path with sign posts and stepping stones along the way. Do you want to keep the piece of music as a reminder and association of it? Play with it until it feels like something that feels good….. not perfect, perhaps but comfortable and fits you well. My friend noticed that his didn’t mention relationships (marriage / life partner) but when he explored that a bit more he decided that he wanted to leave that as something he hoped for in life but not as part of a life mission statement. He also felt it sounded very serious and what was missing was the element of fun. That was quite significant as he realised that it had been a challenging period in his life for a while, with a lot of reponsibilities and choices to make. At times, even enjoying the company of friends had become another thing he "must" fit into his schedule, or that entertaining had sometimes become a chore. This helped him to also find ways to ease up on himself and make space for more relaxed appraoches. He asked friends to take more turns having guests over - and to bring dishes to "pot luck" dinners, and so on.

So from your "fine tuning" at this stage, you might also identify ways of finding more balance and inspiration in where you are right now, as well as greater clarity in where you are going.

Here's my friend's final completed mission statement. My path and purpose in life is to relax and trust myself as a person. I have a commitment to be part of making this planet a healthier and happier place to live in, through working for third world devlopment and also local community projects. Being a good father i s important in my life journey, and helping create a safer and stronger community is part of that. I am a practical idealist and my planning skills and ability to organise are something I can offer to others to help make good projects work well, and this is satisfying. One of my challenges is getting self-concious and frustrated sometimes, and easing up on myself is something I can remind myself of, as just as I am kind to others, so I can also be kind to me. Relaxed, easy going time with friends is a good source of feeling good and confident, for me. I know I can keep coming back to a good balance between family and fatherhood, friendship - and focus."

His life statement was with words and some photos he had taken, over time. My own, I have done both as a cartoon strip and as a mind map. Many people like to make a small scrap book.

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LIVING INTO YOUR JOURNEY.

the next steps are really the journey itself, which you have always been on, and will contnue to explore, to find new perspectives, to perhaps let go of some aspects of your perceived mission and to welcome in new ones, as life and your being evolves. But the core essence of your statement is likely to remain with you always, though it's outward form my change. People often say they go off on mini- expeditions (so to speak) as time goes on, but find this is part of a central theme and pathway.
and for many the process becomes more substantial as they live into it.

Here are a few more ideas for how you can adapt or build on this life purpose game:

*include some notes and ideas as to how other people see your strengths, abilities and the roles you play in the world. (only do this after you have a good sense of your own evaluation and perception, as this is about your realities - not other people's - as your foundation.
* remember what were the things you wanted to do / be / have when you were a child? and a teenager? how do they fit with your statement? do they reflect any themes or bring up any more bits that are missing ? ways that you ould enhance it?
* who are your role models, heroes or teachers and what do you learn from them that you can bring to your own path?
* for whom are you a teacher or inspiration? and in what ways? or who in your life could you have courage to share some of your strengths with?
*what comes to mind when you look ahead, in your imagination, in the future? where might you be and what might you be doing in...... 6 months? two years? five years? how ouwld you have got there? how does this make a difference to the choices you make in the present?
* if an invisible wise spiritual guide came and spoke to you now ... what might they tell you? what do your dreams show you?....

HAPPY AND WHOLE JOURNEYING TO YOU... AND I WOULD LOVE TO HERE ABPUT ANY INTERESTING THEMES AND EVENTS ALONG THE ROAD: GOOD TRAVELLERS TALES!

eva day.