Saturday 15 January 2011

YOUR LIFE MISSION? a treasure hunt....

(note: a long post as this is a recipe for a full discovery process for exploring ideas about your "life purpose." As it is usually done in a one to one or group setting, it is a little less accessible from page of screen or written word. To make it easier to follow i have posted it in three part. One and Two, full "chapter of a book" style guidleines. And then part three is a brief step by step "game guide." Read parts one and two all the way through - then you get the idea and can use part three to remind you of how to play the solitaire version! IF YOU WANT TO PLAY THIS WITH OTHERS: then just as you are asked to find some quiet time and space for the solo version; in a group setting you need good uninterrupted space and time for the group and some reasonable bonding already in place. People can work-play through the steps solo and then team up in pairs or trios to encourage and generate more ideas The Game can also be adapted for developing a Group Mission that is a collective desctiption of group purpose and direction. Facilitators and workshop leaders are welcome to draw from this and adapt it to their own practice: my "ask" in return is that you will tell people about this blog and others relating to healing and creative living as my hope is that this blog will become an interactive source for comments, networking and inspiratioon for other travellers. I also ask that people visit here and share their thoughts, experiences and life mission with others. please add comments. thank you , eva day. the game itself is an adaptation and fusion of ideas from NLP, creative visualisation, career guidance processes and creative writing and art exercises.)


LIFE PURPOSE??

the purpose of the following Something To Do On a Rainy Day is not really to find your Life Mission. It’s just to play and have fun, and experiment with some creative ideas…. So don’t expect great revelations or new directions to come from this, ok? But don’t be surprised if they do……
(so now you will have no reason to write to me and complain, if new possibilities do arise and you think oh goodness me, now I shall feel the need to do something with them, whereas before I was sitting doing nothing and ready to stay there!….. well, I have fairly warned you!! New ideas may indeed wish to be taken out for a walk and shown the world…)

For this activity you will need –
*some time to yourself and forget the tv / chores / telephone / thinking about work, family, everything/ laptop for a while. It’s not one of those – one minute or five minute processes. But it can happen in a few 20 – 30 minute sessions and happens better if some speed and flow and lightness allowed in. You can let it unfold over a couple days, and then ideas you began to generate will simmer on the back burner of mind. For some it happens smoothly and in a short period, others are in a slower rhythm,
* blank paper. A4 size (or even better A3 size) . You can also make a scrap book or a folder and make a page for each activity, as I have set it out here. Also some coloured felt pens. (using colour will help you engage right brain creative thinking.
* some pleasing gently up-tempo music playing in the background. Could be jazz, reggae, whatever makes you feel upbeat and energised (rather than a meditation style calming) but not frantic. And best without words – or at least not lyrics that have strong associations to a particular subject or memory.
* an empty box to put some things in that you may need to transfer either to garbage bin or back into brain after process.

( I give theoretical examples for each one – but based on people I have shared this with , through work in the past or informally. The “friend of mine” is a mix of different people’s interpretations of this.)

PREPARATIONS AND HOW TO PLAY THIS GAMES!! use a fresh page for each step of the game or each topic. have some scribbling paper to brain storm on and then transer the ideas, words and images you like best onto each new page of your scrapbook or folder. take your time over it, for the course of a couple of days or so, and keep it light and playful rather than analytic. no right or wrong as it can continue to evolve over time ... just as you do and your life purpose does.
Ongoing process all the way through this…. Keep a part of your mind linked in to the idea of looking out for negative blocks on this. Should, can’t won’t what’s the point everybody says /thinks but I always… life always.. (screws up on me / knocks plans down on their ass anyway? Hands it to the smart people.. rich people, my sister, etc. Jot down words, images, symbols, or key phrases and stay relaxed about this – let’s imagine for now it’s only words or patterns not huge “issues”. If you get intense feelings with it, take a break. Or get up and do something else, stretch body, get mind else where then come back when ready. Put this piece of paper in your box. Now forget it. Tell yourself it’s out of the way taking a break and giving you one right now….
(my friends – “box it” list included things like I should get it together, what a klutz, and the word “frustrating.”)


PAGE ONE
Bring to mind three times in your life when you had a special, magical or peak experience…… and it doesn’t matter what it was and it doesn’t have to be anything extraordinarily beyond everyday world. Could be a time when you were: for example: *at an evening class and for the first time a new skill you had struggled to master suddenly started to click. Made you feel encouraged and adept. *a time when you were laughing with a group of friends and felt very easy and relaxed as you had all just come through a harder time. * the day you got married. (ok, great but not specific enough which part of the day was the real few peak moments? What was happening? What did it feel and look like?) So for each one, let yourself feel, see hear as much as will come to mind. This is where you can grab the pens and start drawing, scribbling jotting down words etc. that will help keep opening up imagination and memory to find the experiences that feel right to you.
1) Now – you might have a list of several different possible memories, Choose three – you don’t have to get this “right” – just any three that seem to have more appeal or stand out or make you smile more in the moment. Just like if you were choosing some clothes to wear that day - and you can wear something else another day. For your three memories, develop a series of pictures and words to describe what those experiences meant to you. Eg a person who had used the memory of getting the hang of a new skill at an evening class might have written….. excited. proud . satisfied. encouraged. relaxed. ambitious. competent. relieved. determined.
2) Now what is the one key word from each that most resonates? Say the words out loud if you want or draw them in coloured letters and notice which one seems to feel most right in your body.
( I am going to use “relaxed” for a friend who once told me he felt most relaxed when he was doing something and that when he achieved a new skill he always relaxed from an underlying worry that he was not going to be able to manage certain things, having had a tendency to be not co-ordinated or accident prone…)


PAGE TWO
1) Most important values in your work life? (e.g. conscientiousness (in following proper guidelines, procedures etc) ambition, achieving career success. Earning a living and keeping work in proper balance to home life. Tear down the system. Working co-operatively, working independently. Etc….. (try and think of real every day situations and experiences from work in thinking of ideas for this) This is private and about you – so not what you think is right, just what you think. Jot down – “jerking off” of you want to! It’s your list!
2) As above in terms of home and family life. (eg. Learning at home together as a family. Honesty. Self-sufficiency. Mutual support. Just being relaxed. Peace and quiet and a retreat. … not a family person, into my independence. Community living. etc
3) As above, with friendship and social contacts (eg, fun and adventure. Shared interests (sports, arts, travel, politics, etc.) Girls Nights Out. Someone to confide in and who trusts me. And so on….
** Get your box list scribbled out again and in the box. And chose one key word or phrase that resonates, from each of the three areas. My example, my friend said his values were: work: third world development. Home/ family; good parenting. (he was a half-time single parent) social contacts; local issues (he lived in an area where there were some racial and crime related tensions and neighbourhood projects and people were important to him) His box list included: *should quit studies, look for better paid work. * always worrying * waste of time and effort .

PAGE THREE
Keep this one very simple and fairly fluid and quick if you can – just whatever occurs to you with free association. Again, scribble with coloured pens and draw and jot words.
1) What you most want to take from the world
2) What you give to the world or could give. (no false modesty with self here!! It’s just you and the felt pens and paper which you can put away or tear up later! So what do you really feel?) Big or little? Eg; I am patient. Good at cooking. Can think logically. Observant. Military / technical/ academic background. (whatever.)
3) Wish for the world. Again whatever is your “thing” small or large and doesn’t have to be “world peace.” But could be. Eg: *slow down. * more urban graffiti and street art. * animal rights. * good manners and respect between people. * global economic development. * end of consumerist society. * more fashion sense. * better street lighting. (etc.) have deliberately included a few off beat ones in examples by way of creating mood of permission and possibility!!
Again, make your blocks and negatives list and get it in the box. My friends list included “don’t take things so seriously.” /That’s relevant only to tiny minority. / They would just laugh at me….
Now pick one word or phrase which most resonates, for each of the three points above. Again , just best own guess and gut feeling. My friends list: 1) a safe environment, reduced crime and less stress. 2) good at planning and thinking ahead. 3) end third world debt and child poverty.

NOW TAKE A BREAK - FOR AN HOUR OR UP UNTIL THE FOLLOWING DAY. AND DURING THAT TIME FOCUS ON COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THOUGHTS AND ACTIVITES. HOPEFULLY - EXTERNAL RATHER THAN INTERNAL FOCUS. LET THE IDEAS YOU HAVE GENERATED "SIMMER ON THE BACK-BURNER"

the second half of the game follows on next post.

xx have fun. eva day.

2 comments:

AnnMaRou said...

THANK YOU for the 'finding life mission' project!!! i read it and so far love it, a few things started already churning in the background but i'm not doing it the proper way with paper and pencils yet, i need to wait for monday at least to be on my own and have time to concentrate and think :))) also in response to what you'd written i got a bit of a fright that i actually might find my mission, i thought it strange - thus that's what i want right? but maybe part of me is scared of leaving comfort zone and setting out into future with self commitment and without excuses?? anyway it's all good and valid questions and i don't regard those fears as a setback - they are signals something is up and has to be looked at and resolved to be able to move on :))) as you said it may be an empty cup at first blocked from filling by fears but i'll work on allowing it to fill up, so i am looking forward to the rest of instructions to be able to maybe finally figure out my life :))))))

Unknown said...

Eva,
This is fabulous..I'm going to incorporate it into some artwork and writing I've been doing as I ask myself the question, what's next after treatment? Along with who the heck was I before treatment? Sometimes it seems a blur. although I've had two lifelong friends tell me recently that I did not "lose myself" in treatment. Ha little do they know what goes on in my head while I struggle to put on Happy Jenny Face! Anyway thanks for the suggestion I think it's just what the doctor ordered, Dr Eva that is!
Peace,
Jenny